I grew up in a household with an entrepreneur. My Dad started a trucking company a number of years before I was born, so I\u2019ve only known the life of living with a family-owned business. I suppose that is, in large part, why I like the creative process of new ventures.<\/p>\n
I remember family vacations that were extended because my Dad could call the office and tell them he\u2019d be gone longer than normal. I also remember Dad taking difficult phone calls while on vacation. I can recall business discussions between family members during holidays, birthdays, or special events. Now, I’m hyper-sensitive to putting work in a box and closing it when I’m not working. I try to not let work overtake my personal time as that will be my tendency (because I like to work!).<\/p>\n
Working with friends and family can be great, or it can be a disaster. Many small businesses leave in their wake the bodies of dead relationships. So, before you do business with a friend, move slowly, and do the following:<\/p>\n
Set clear expectations.<\/strong> Be careful with communication.<\/strong> There is no rank in the game of life.<\/strong> Discuss what will happen if things don\u2019t work out.<\/strong> Don\u2019t play favorites – be fair.<\/strong> If family and friends get extra long lunch hours, extra time off, extra perks, it becomes increasingly likely that an \u201cus and them\u201d mentality with develop. Those who don\u2019t receive special treatment will act differently around those who do. That will likely lead to an atmosphere of resentment which is hard to resolve.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t be afraid to make the hard calls.<\/strong> Don\u2019t cut it off an inch at a time. If the hard call needs to be made – to change, to adapt, to cut off, then make the decision, and get on with it. If you\u2019re a good leader, have a clear grasp of the situation, are acting fairly, and have good communication, then your friend or family member can probably understand the decision.<\/p>\n Keep work at work.<\/strong> Working with friends and family can be very rewarding<\/strong> but it can also be very distracting and can end in broken relationships. I\u2019ve lived both, but if you follow the recommendations above, you\u2019ll avoid many traps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I grew up in a household with an entrepreneur. My…<\/p>\n
\nThe difference between expectations and reality is disappointment. Keep the expectations clear, and then meet them. Reality happens, and you need to be able to keep the reality as close to expectations as possible – and exceed if you can. If reality is lower than expectations, you\u2019ll create disappointment, which will be hard to keep from affecting the friendship.<\/p>\n
\nFamiliarity creates a type of casual communication that can create misunderstandings in a business relationship. Remember to keep communication as professional as possible. Please, and thank you add grease to the communication wheels, and can help establish mutual respect. Familiar inside jokes can be read as exclusive and cause group to form in a business that others feel they can\u2019t join. As a leader, you\u2019ll need to be cognizant of the necessity of not being exclusive with friends in the workplace.<\/p>\n
\nI work with some friends who call me \u201cboss.\u201d I cringe every time I heard it because as the boss I recognize that in some ways I\u2019m the leader. I always hope they\u2019re saying it because we know that I only hold that position because I\u2019m good at it while we\u2019re working. But, from a friendship, non-work standpoint, I\u2019m just a guy doing my best, and there is no rank in the game of life. We\u2019re all on level playing field. We may have different resources, and different skillsets, but we are all just pieces in a much larger puzzle. I am cautious about ever acting in a way that would suggest I have any additional authority outside the bounds of work.<\/p>\n
\nI have a friend who works with me, and when he started he said, \u201cIf this isn\u2019t working out, I want you to fire me before it affects our friendship.\u201d We mutually hold our friendship as a higher value than the business opportunity of working together. When you have agreed to a higher value of keeping your relationship intact and discussed that ahead of time, it will help make any awkward future discussions from having a broader relational impact.<\/p>\n
\nFamily and friends cannot have unfair special treatment in the workplace. This should be a cardinal rule of working with family and friends. I believe in this so much, when I hired my kids to do some odd-job cleanup, I didn\u2019t make the agreement with them. Instead, I made it clear to the person who would oversee them that I wanted no part of it. They needed to be responsible to someone they didn\u2019t know, do the job for someone who had the authority to continue to have them work, correct them, or let them go.<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019ve been in situations when I need to make a difficult decision that will impact a friend. During those times, I\u2019m reminded of a story\u2026 There was an old man who loved his sick dog dearly. The dog had an infection on its tail that could not be treated. The dog was eventually going to suffer the pain of losing its tail. The man, loving his dog so much and wanting to spare the dog the pain of cutting the tail completely off, instead cut it off an inch at a time.<\/p>\n
\nI can\u2019t put it better than I did in the \u201cWelcome to Thinker\u201d document for new hires:
\n\u201cLet me encourage you to live aware of balance. Work is good, worthwhile and necessary, but don\u2019t work at the expense of living. Be as aware of your personal and family health as you are of the work you are doing. Spend your personal time on your personal life and leave work at the office, if you can. Likewise, when you\u2019re at the office, dedicate the time to your work. You\u2019ll find that mixing the two will create uncomfortable tension and frustration for yourself and those around you. So, don\u2019t view balance as attempting to keep the teeter-totter in the middle – that won\u2019t work. Instead, think of balance as spending the necessary time completely on each side – all the way up and all the way down.\u201d<\/p>\n